I am creating this blog because I have learned that there are far too many of us who lost our mothers before we were 21. Society seems to overlook us. You hear plenty about children without fathers. However, we only occasionally pop up in fiction, especially fairy tales as retold by Disney (ever notice how many heroines only have a father?). Only one author that I know of, the awesome Hope Edelman, even acknowledges that we exist. Yet, because I lost my mother very early in life, I have had many people confess to me about their loss. We are far more common than one would think.
I don't know what it is. I don't know if it is that society has a hard time accepting or acknowledging the painful truth that mothers die or leave. I don't know if it is that those that always knew the security of a mother's love have a difficult time fathoming existence without that love.
Lately, though, I have learned that I am not the only one that sees herself as "the girl without a mother" or that hates Mother's Day passionately or that cries when the mom dies in "The Land Before Time." I have decided that it is long past time for US to have a support group. It is time for us to be able to discuss disliking things like Mother's Day without having everyone else horrified by our feelings. If you understand any of what I've said, feel free to follow this blog and comment. I think it is time that we all found each other.
Hope Edelman's website has a search to help you find a support groups here: http://www.hopeedelman.com/support-groups.htm
ReplyDeleteYou know, what you said about Disney is movies is So. True. What's up with that?!
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I just wanted to let you know that I think this blog is a wonderful idea, and I hope that others that are looking for those that will understand are able to find you and this place to share.
<3
I actually do know what's up with that as I was an English major. It is one of the distinguishing features of what constitutes a hero or heroine in literature. It is something that existed long before Walt Disney was born and is not just limited to females. For example, Harry Potter, Frodo Baggins, and a ton of other male heroes are motherless. I have noticed, however, that heroines tend to be motherless, but have fathers while heroes tend to be orphans without either parent. They do often have a wise, male, gradfatherly, friend (e.g. Dumbledore, Gandalf)
ReplyDeleteThat all has nothing to do with real life other than the fat that it seems to be the only way that society seems able to acknowledge that mother's die. As if by talking about it in fiction it is somehow not real.