New Inductees

Yesterday I found out that one of the sweetest women I know died last week.  Since I was without a phone for over a week, I was late getting this most important message.  This woman had two daughters, both under the age of six.  Unfortunately, that means there two new very young inductees into our sad club.

I have been unable to think about anything but these two gorgeous little girls who have been unexpectedly thrust into the world of having one's identity shaped by being a motherless daughter.  By being one of us that is largely unacknowledged by a society that discusses single mothers and fathers that die or leave, but not our situations.  I have their father, a very admirable and nice man, constantly on my mind.  I remember the grief and pain of my own father, which was evident even to my young eyes, and hurt that such a great person is now in the same situation.

I spent last night crying, vacillating between vicarious pain for three people who would now understand that Mother's Day is a horrible, horrible holiday for some people in this world and feeling extreme admiration for how unbelievably well my own father handled it all.  I spent the night wanting to dispatch my father to their house to fix it all the way he always fixed my pain when things like my first pet dying triggered that buried pain about losing my mother.

As I got closer to sleep I remembered that, unlike me, these girls would not be ripped from the home of their only remaining parent.  These girls could have everything else they know remain intact.  They wouldn't have to spend years fighting along with their father to be able to live in their own home where they belong.  These girls already have more positives working in their favor.  Perhaps they can benefit from one of the Motherless Daughter Support Groups when they are old enough to attend.  I felt more peaceful and filled with hope that they have it better than some of us did.

So, even though there are two new inductees, here's to hoping they don't have the slightest clue how all of us feel.  Here's to hoping that their experience is so much better than all of ours and that they remain happy, healthy and whole despite their loss

This post is dedicated to JGL and everything she did to touch my life in such a positive way.